10 Preppy Decor Fails So Painful They Should Never See the Light of Day (but Do)

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Just off the golf course and heading to the clubhouse for an icy Arnold Palmer? It’s likely that you’re wearing green pants, a yellow polo, a belt with embroidered nautical flags, and a stiff upper lip.

And if this is your attire of choice, it’s quite possible you own an utterly preppy home.

Pink and green for days and miles of gingham are just the beginnings of preppy design gone bad, but of course, we get it. This home style is equal parts old money and happy, sporty motifs—and who doesn’t want to live like that?

Still, unless your name is Ralph Lauren or you actually reside near Augusta National Golf Course, in Palm Beach, or on Nantucket, lay off this look just a tad. For some help, here’s what not to do in your home (or we’re calling the preppy police).

1. Lilly Pulitzer

Photo by gatotravieso 

Preppy patterns are a way of life for some homeowners—we’re talking madras shorts, tweed jackets, and the ultimate preppy icon, Lilly Pulitzer.

And when these sunny shades carry over into the home, they often do so in crazy amounts. Here’s a tip: If you drop something on your sofa and can’t find it, the design is too busy and simply must go.

2. Gingham

Photo by Bayberry Cottage

Preppy fans can’t get away from classic checks, so you’ll find many a room covered with these uptight straight lines and boxes that signal order and calm. Oh, for a bit of batik! Sadly, nothing too “out there” or “wild” will ever enter this type of abode. We understand that you also love Greek key designs and seersucker fabric, but trust us—branching out a little more never hurt anyone.

3. Red, white, and blue

Photo by Brittany (aka Pretty Handy Girl)

For some reason, preppy folks think they have a lock on all things patriotic, which means our flag’s colors simply can’t get a break. The upshot is a home that tends to be splashed with red, white, and blue stars and stripes. Feel like saluting? You should, because every day is July 4 here!

4. Home bars bigger than commercial bars

Photo by Island Time Renovation & Design

“I say, time for a G&T, old chap?”

Yup—this is an actual phrase that’s used quite regularly in some circles. And in an extra preppy home, it’s uttered with a gaze toward the home bar. An even preppier setup could be the one seen here, a massive structure with two wine fridges and glassware for 50 that extends the full length of one wall (no dinky bar carts allowed). Bottoms up!

5. Monograms

Photo by Structures Building Company

After umpteen G&Ts, you may fancy a nap—but which room is yours again? It’s easy to tell in a preppy home, because every single surface is always monogrammed in an overwrought or overly bolded font. Shower curtains, pillow shams, bedspreads, coasters, bath towels—no item can escape that pounding needle and thread.

6. Goofy golf signs

Tee it up! Groan…

Etsy

Golf is their religion, so of course these preppy folks need to bring it into the home. Ditto for the mini putting green installed in the backyard and the framed picture of Augusta Golf’s hallowed “Amen Corner” over the fireplace.

7. Tennis rackets as decor

Photo by Tennis Racket Mirrors

No, you’re not John McEnroe and you’ll never play at Wimbledon. Still, if you bleed pink and green, the way many in this category do, you swoon for old tennis gear like mounted wooden rackets. But while they seem sporty and sweet, they actually resemble oversized fly swatters.

8. Pompoms

Admit it: You want to snatch them off one by one.

Etsy

Preppy fanatics love trim! Grosgrain ribbon, rickrack, pompoms, and more seem to cling to every light shade, dish towel, and pillow. And when you’ve added a cutesy adornment to a monogrammed accessory, you’ve doubled the preppy pain in your rooms.

9. Animal accessories

Doggie lamps, elephant umbrella stands, monkey end tables, and birds everywhere! If you’ve entered a room and feel like you’re in the zoo, it’s absolutely a preppy decor home fail. Animal motifs are fine, but it’s really the creepy little eyes that get to us.

10. Chinoiserie

A preppy home gone wild often adopts chinoiserie chic for a touch of exotic flair. While we’re not sure how kosher it is to mix these designs or appropriate the culture in any way, it’s probably fine if you really love the look. Still, subtracting a piece here and there is always wise. (Less is more, people!)

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